Friday, 3 September 2010

Slight change of wedding plan

Yesterday Chris and I came to a decision about our wedding.

We've postponed it until next year.

I know.  You're probably thinking that it's quite a drastic measure?

Let me explain.

We got engaged and booked the wedding back in December.  Then we set about finding a house to buy which took longer than anticipated.  Then we found a house but the process of buying it also took longer than we thought it would.  We moved into the house in June and we're still getting into the swing of paying for it.

When Chris and I sat down and made our wedding to-do list we were crossing things off it that made us question if getting married this year was the right thing to do.  I had planned to have my hair put up and what flowers I'd be having in my bouquet.  But we had to cross both those things off the list in order to pay for food for the guests.  Also Chris was looking at ridiculously cheap suits and that's not right. 

It just felt wrong.  Do you know what I mean?  Every time I thought about or someone mentioned the wedding I just felt a sense of dread.  It wasn't going to be as we had planned and we were more sad about it than happy.  Obviously three weeks before your wedding a few nerves are okay but I tell you, it was making me feel sick just thinking about it.  I've even been off pudding and chocolate! 

The one thing we both knew was that we wanted to get married to each other but not in the way that we would have to in three weeks' time.  Also, we didn't want to look back on our wedding day and think 'That's not how we wanted it to be' just for the sake of waiting a little bit longer.

So Chris and I made the decision to postpone the wedding.  It was a difficult and upsetting thing to do but we both feel such relief.  The knot in my stomach is slowly undoing and I feel about a stone lighter.  Chris is happier too. We were both a little sad last night but this morning we feel a lot better about the situation.

Chris and I now have some breathing space and time to plan and budget to make our wedding the way we envisaged it back when we first got engaged and this time we won't have estate agents, train commutes and the whole new house thing encroaching on the wedding planning.

Many thanks to everyone who left such lovely comments on my last post.

Thank you for reading

22 Comments

BeadyPool said...

Huge hugs to for making what sounds to me like the right decision for you both. Life can be stressful enough without wedding planning on top. Enjoy taking your time to plan your wedding and getting it right for you both Vxxx

Joy Funnell said...

Good for you. A hard decision and it is not easy to put yourselves before the expectations of everyone else but sometimes you just have to. It is your big day and you want to enjoy it.

Joy x

Fiona said...

The most important thing in life is to be happy. Good luck with everything.

Caroline B said...

Well, that was a very tough decision but better than going through with a half-baked wedding rather than having it perfect - and it's not as if either of you are going anywhere in the meantime, you still have all the fun of living together in your new house.
Dammit, I'll have to put my hat back in mothballs.........
Caroline x

Kc said...

I agree with Fiona, it's no good if you're not happy, that was quite a sad read, but if you both feel good about it the next morning it's got to have been the right decision. It must be hard sharing it with "us lot" though.
Have a good w/e, happy beading.
Kevin

FloRaeMe said...

Yes definitely the right decision. This way you will truly get to enjoy your new house, planning the wedding and the day itself and remember them separately!

Fire Phoenix said...

Wow, that a major decision, but well done for having the guts to do it! I hope your plans run smoothly now and you can plan the wedding of your dreams :)

hello gorgeous said...

oh gorgeous! I actually stopped breathing whilst reading your post {at first I couldn't understand why I was getting a hot flush....and then I took a big gulp of air}

If you don't feel timing is right for all those reasons mentioned, then you've done the right thing....however hard it may be {especially being SO close}....excitment and joy are the feelings that should be flowing from you on this special occasion.

Make sure you both have a night away on the day that would've been "the day" and celebrate...just the two of you ;o)

Another blogger posted about her wedding...she inspired me SO much i wanted to get married all over again! Here is her link http://lillyella.blogspot.com/ half way down her blog in the sidebar you will see a heading Wedding Inspiration - check it out, it's fab!

I am both sad {at postponment}and happy {'cause you get what you want}...I wait with baited breath at the resumation of the wedding plans ;o)

hugs

hello gorgoeus xxx
p.s. is there such a word as resumation???

Sue Doran said...

That's a very courageous decision, three cheers for you and Chris! You're already living as husband and wife it will be nice for your to enjoy that without all the stress. Now you can get all saved up which means making plenty of beads - what are you doing reading this - go get on with it! ;-)
Xx

Jo said...

It sounds as though you've both made exactly the right decision - now you can enjoy the planning properly!

Helga Hansen said...

Sounds like Chris and yourself are a smart couple, and while I understand the inevitable disappointment you felt, I totally get the reasons why you're postponing. I do remember mentioning before that your man sounds like a keeper! :)

Just make sure you do something nice together on what would have been your big day, okay?!

Mel P said...

You are a brave and wise couple. Having the wedding you want is the most important thing hugest hugs to you xxxxx

ros said...

Ennesimo commento sul matrimonio! Certo che è un passo importante, ma anche la vita che trascorrete ora insieme non è da meno! Perciò non sentitevi in colpa, lasciate passare ancora un pò di tempo senza pensarci su molto, così avrete tutto il tempo per pianificare la festa, vi sistemate la casa ( che dalle foto è bellissima!), e sopratutto pensate a voi! Non dovete mica sposarvi per forza! Vedrete che quando sarà il momento giusto lo capirete e non ti verrà più il nodo allo stomaco! Fidati. Un enorme bacio! Ros

Laura said...

Massive thanks to you all for such supportive, kind comments.

You lot are the best!

Laura & Chris xxx

jelveh Designs said...

What makes the knot in your belly go away is always a good thing... a happy wedding day is the best...good on you for waiting for a time that makes both of you happier & less stressed...
much love...
Jelveh

Catherine Bonham said...

Oh popette - you only do it once (hopefully) so it absolutely has to be right. Well done for being brave! Now can we have something else other than Polka Dots? ;) xxx

Laura said...

Aw, thanks so much Jelveh.

And Catherine, the next few sets of beads I'll have for sale are mainly polka dot ones but I have a feeling the polka dot cloud is lifting!

Laura x

Maple Glass said...

I feel sad for you too Laura but I think you have both come to a very wise and grwn up decision, after all you do want it to be a day to remember (for the right reasons). I am sure you will both enjoy remaking your plans and knowing you can afford a few dreams to be thrown in there too.
Best wishes
Pam
x

Helen G said...

Just wanted to echo what others have said and that I really admire your decision. Sometimes I think we go along with things because it's what we think others expect and yet all they want is for it to be right for us. Relax and enjoy planning the day that the two of you want ;-)

Pretty Things said...

If you feel relieved, you've done the right thing. You DON'T want to look back and say, "I wish I'd done". You get one day, you know? And now you can breathe, and plan, and do as you wish. It's not like you two don't love each other -- you DO or you wouldn't be smart enough to do this and have this conversation.

I'm so happy for you both! Enjoy your house and each other and stress-free planning!

Shaiha said...

I want to echo all the earlier comments and toss one of my own in. If you are comfortable having the decision to put it off with Chris then you know that you are marrying the right one.

Anonymous said...

Good decision Laura, plus you and Chris made it together, thats very important.

As many have said you only want to plan a wedding once and it to be a happy occasion not stressed and rushed. I definitely agree that you should still do something special for you both on that date and good luck with your preparations when you sort out a new date.

Love and best wishes,
Lisa x (lispmac2000@yahoo.co.uk)