Monday, 11 April 2016

My brain is a pillock

Assorted lampwork glass beads by Laura Sparling

A whole week of me not blogging has occurred, mainly because I've had next-to-no beads to show you.

Weezer at Brixton Academy on 05/04/16

This is partly due to the flat bead battery in my head and partly because we went to London on Tuesday night to see Weezer (my most favourite band in the whole world ever ever) so I spent most of Wednesday looking at gig photos and videos on the internet whilst not getting a whole lot of work done because I was in a floaty Weezer bubble of loveliness.

Me in my new Weezer t-shirt

But yes, flat bead battery. My perfectionism is a terrible issue lately. The pressure I put myself under to get my beads just so is ridiculous and I know it's ridiculous but I can't help it. I get annoyed with myself over it and people try and help by telling me that a bead which I think isn't right is perfectly alright but it doesn't help because I know that it's not my idea of right. It's very difficult to explain all this to non-pernickety people. The way I get through these episodes—and I will get through it, I always do—is to tell myself that it's just the way my brain works. My brain can't help wanting to make my beads as neat/tight/precise/tidy as I can possibly make them. It's just the way it is. And that's science. I've read a lot about it. The brain of a perfectionist physically works differently to that of a non-perfectionist. Trust me, if I could quit the bead fussiness I'd be over the moon as it would mean that I could make way more beads than I do. I'm not a perfectionist in all areas of my life - just the creative ones. And I've always been this way, right back to primary school.

The only thing I can do, because those helpful books and articles about 'letting go of your perfectionism' are absolutely pointless, is to embrace it. Yes, my stringer placement is good. Yes, my dots are even. Yes, my beads are all the same size. That is what makes my beads my beads. And my beads are like that because my brain made me make them that way.

Oh, enough of this wallowing about my pillock of a brain. It's boring me so it must be boring you. I'm just trying to explain why I haven't had many beads to show you this past week or so.

Whilst working through my current period of This Bead Needs To Be Killed With Water Now, I've amassed a collection of half-sets and one-offs that are totally cromulent beads and they need homes. I'm going to be selling them in my new Facebook Group at 19:30 (UK time) tonight.

Assorted lampwork glass beads by Laura Sparling

There will be spacers, pairs, mini-strands and a couple of strands of Lonelies for sale. You can join my Facebook Group here but you will need to be a Facebook user to do so. I understand that not everyone uses or wants to use Facebook and I apologise for that but when you sell on the internet and market your work through social media you need to stay on top of things, beat tricksy algorithms and experiment with different selling platforms. My 'normal' bead sets are, and will always be, available on my website. In fact, this set of 'Cloudburst' beads are on there now.

Lampwork glass beads by Laura Sparling

I've left these spotty beads shiny but I've added the option of tumble-etching, at no extra cost.

And now I must away to the shed. Happy Monday!

4 Comments

Benja Blue said...

I too have a perfectionist brain. I spent two days wallowing in misery on the sofa last week because I melted a silver piece I was working on! At least we know that these episodes pass - it just needs time! Kelly x

Yvette said...

Just wanted to say it's great to see you blogging again.

Laura Sparling said...

I hear you! Glad you understand. X

Laura Sparling said...

Thank you, Yvette! X