After work last night I nipped to the local Tesco Express to get some carrots for dinner and also for the guinea pigs. Incidentally, Tesco only had carrot batons and is it just me or do they taste different from normal whole carrot-shaped carrots? Anyway, I grabbed a bag of carrot batons and some other bits and pieces and I joined the queue.
The man in front of me had his shopping basket on the floor and he was pushing it along with his foot as the queue moved. When the shop assistant called, 'Next please!' the man in front of me bent down to pick up his basket and as he did so his trousers fell down.
Now, I know it's de rigueur for many man-youths to walk about the place with their trousers practically around their knees, displaying their undercrackers to all and sundry, but this was different.
This forty-something man's trousers, which were some kind of lightweight tracksuit bottoms, fell down to his ankles ...
... AND HE HAD NO UNDERPANTS ON!
It was like the world slowed down at that point. The next few seconds seemed like minutes.
One second I was stood there minding my own business with my basket of shopping and the next thing I knew there was a pair of exposed man buttocks - there, right there - in front of my face!
My eyes saw the naked bottom and they kind of went, "Hey? Oh! OH NO! What in the name of ... ?!" and then my eyes darted to the Cadbury Mini Egg stand where they intently studied the bags, big bags of small bags and tubes of tiny sugary chocolate eggs. Down the side of my eye I could see the man, still bent over, desperately pulling his trousers back up. The female shop assistant was in stitches and it wasn't until later that I realised she was IN FRONT of him so goodness knows what she saw.
The bottom-barer hurried over to the till, paid for his goods and scuttled out of the door, probably very grateful for the hood of his jacket which was hiding his face. After he left the shop a wave of snorts and giggles erupted from all the onlookers. When the shop assistant had recovered from her laughter she said to me, "I wonder if he'll ever show his face in here again?" to which I replied, "Or his bum!" and we all laughed again.
Sadly, I think my mind will now forever associate Cadbury Mini Eggs with the image of that man's unclad bottom.
And it wasn't even a nice bottom.